As a reader since..oh…mid-70s and a writer since 1982, I climb my soapbox to tell you what this little genre did for women.
Today, I woke up to the news that Gloria Steinem has died. Age 92, she worked hard, girl. So did Betty Friedan. They were Big, everywhere all at once. My first “feminist” reads in books and magazine form.
They told us how, despite good-girl grades and college degrees, we were tied to old ideas, our kitchen, our aprons, our parents', boyfriend’s or husband's perceptions.
They told us to take control of our own money. Right. We did not have the ability to get credit cards. I had my first store credit in 1963. My first credit card? I think it was 1973. I bought my first car with my own bank loan at age 22. (My mother was shocked I was able to get that.)
I had a BA at that point and a teaching position at a local high school. And my conversation with the car dealer? He did not believe I could get the loan without my father co-signing!
But reading romances by the new authors who put a bit of sex into their stories caused a sensation. They hit the charts and hit our hearts…and our self-perceptions in new ways.
Aside from learning where your vagina was and how to think about it in mating, we read romances and decided that the men we appreciated had a few noble qualities that all men should boast. Protectiveness is great, but when it is bullying or abusive, it has to go. Loyalty is required and catting around is not only dangerous physically but grounds for separation and divorce. Honesty is demanded. Devotion is desired. Humor helps. Life really is a cabaret. At 82, I am entitled to affirm that. And the ability to devote yourself to surviving the slings and arrows requires a back bone—and a funny bone.
Today, nearly five decades after the explosion of romances for sale, we see they are still the most popular fiction. We still need to reach women of all ages.
Steinem never stopped fighting.
We romance authors never stop fashioning the liberating messages that, frankly and sadly, are still necessary.
Romances tell us that you can stand up for yourself, lady. You can control your own bank account, your retirement plan and your welfare if and when you find yourself alone in the world. You can even demand of your boss equal salary. That was a new concept when I was told in 1986, that I could have the position of v.p. in my company, but not the salary. I said, "No." They promoted me and gave me what they would have paid a man.
Should you encourage your daughters to read them? Of course. Choose the level of sexuality you want her to read, and then talk to her yourself about your own experience and truth.
Pick up a romance today. A historical will give you perspective on the world you live in—and the one you should live in. A romantsy will give you a flight of fancy and fantasy that most likely shows a fierce woman as the lead. A mystery will most likely show you a woman who figures out the crime, alongside one who might just have fallen victim to it.
Each type can lift you up. Show you women of courage. Women who fought to find a good life and a fair one for themselves.
Not liquor. Not your boss. Not your husband or significant other.
Only you and a good book.
