How reading romances helps solve problems!

Yes! I got to travel! Here I am at Cheverny 

on the Loire Valley, France. 

I have been writing for more than 40 years. Beginning during the 80s, I practiced writing for newspapers (a financial column!), magazines (Maryland history!) and the occasional interview of a Washingtonian in the news.

Why? In those days, to impress the trad publishers in New York or London with your proposal for fiction, one needed a resume. I got one.

Along the way, I also got a corporate job and wrote for the CEOs and for their testimonies before Congress and Senate.

But on the Metro in the mornings, I wrote long hand (no laptops then!), on yellow pads. On Saturday mornings, I transferred it all to my first computer.  That was a giant thing as wide as your current flat screen tv and 10 times as deep. The printer was a thing called dot matrix. Letters of the alphabet formed by dots. Fun.

I joined Washington Romance Writers as one of the original founders. There, we taught ourselves to write fiction. Plotting, characterization and motivation were actual classes or meeting topics.

We worked hard. I also joined a small group of would-be authors. We were 8, all unpublished when we started. Eight years later when we began to disperse, move away, etc., all but one of us was unpublished. 

What we learned together was that writing was a joy, a release, a process...and a job. Because once you had a contract, you most likely wanted more. And so did your publisher.

We wrote romance because, female all of us, we understood that emotion and attachment very well. If a few of us also wrote mysteries or murders, we did it because we also understand that often people let you down, betray you and leave.

But love of romance stayed. That was because we saw change in our sisters out there in the world. They had college degrees and were paid less than the men with equal position. (I raise my hand on that one...until I told my corporation I had to be paid equal to a man or I was not interested in their promotion of more work but less pay.) We saw that women needed to stand up and stay up. We saw they needed role models and not just Gloria Steinem or Dolly Parton or a new Congresswoman from San Francisco named Pelosi.

We understood that romance was the starry beginning of a relationship but that without talking, that little thing called loved died. If you don't share your experience, strength and hope, you cannot find your similarities or your divisions.

Our daughter's anniversary gift!

Winston Churchill once said that the benefit he received from joining his mother for tea each afternoon was that he learned the 'Fine Art of Communication'. Those afternoons taught him invaluable lessons he used with world leaders. 

Reading a romance allows the reader to experience that art. It shows the way.

Writing it also helped me in my marriage. Now almost 57 years of it, we still have our moments when we must re-learn each other's experience, strength and hope.

Romances still feature conflicts that are real and terrible if unresolved.

Read one. Two. More. If you have a problem in your relationships, you will find the one that fits your situation. And it will give you a shot of confidence that it can be solved. 

Reading Romances helped women grow a pair!

What romance did for you?
    As a reader since..oh…mid-70s and a writer since 1982, I climb my soapbox to tell you what this little genre did for women.
    Today, I woke up to the news that Gloria Steinem has died. Age 92, she worked hard, girl. So did Betty Friedan. They were Big, everywhere all at once. My first “feminist” reads in books and magazine form.
    They told us how, despite good-girl grades and college degrees, we were tied to old ideas, our kitchen, our aprons, our parents', boyfriend’s or husband's perceptions.
    They told us to take control of our own money. Right. We did not have the ability to get credit cards. I had my first store credit in 1963. My first credit card? I think it was 1973. I bought my first car with my own bank loan at age 22. (My mother was shocked I was able to get that.)
    I had a BA at that point and a teaching position at a local high school. And my conversation with the car dealer? He did not believe I could get the loan without my father co-signing!
But reading romances by the new authors who put a bit of sex into their stories caused a sensation. They hit the charts and hit our hearts…and our self-perceptions in new ways.
    

For some, the bedroom scenes were the most liberating. "Lying back and thinking of England” was no longer the way to go. Somehow you found your excitement…and conveyed it, judging your partners on their insights. (And let me say, the birth control pill and other devices did not even become general topics of discussion until about 1963. Think on that.)
    Aside from learning where your vagina was and how to think about it in mating, we read romances and decided that the men we appreciated had a few noble qualities that all men should boast. Protectiveness is great, but when it is bullying or abusive, it has to go. Loyalty is required and catting around is not only dangerous physically but grounds for separation and divorce. Honesty is demanded. Devotion is desired. Humor helps. Life really is a cabaret. At 82, I am entitled to affirm that. And the ability to devote yourself to surviving the slings and arrows requires a back bone—and a funny bone.
    Today, nearly five decades after the  explosion of romances for sale, we see they are still the most popular fiction. We still need to reach women of all ages.
    Steinem never stopped fighting. 
    We romance authors never stop fashioning the liberating messages that, frankly and sadly, are still necessary.

   When the notion of "trad wives” can imprison a woman’s mind, education, finances and her children, we still need romances.
    Romances tell us that you can stand up for yourself, lady. You can control your own bank account, your retirement plan and your welfare if and when you find yourself alone in the world. You can even demand of your boss equal salary. That was a new concept when I was told in 1986, that I could have the position of v.p. in my company, but not the salary. I said, "No." They promoted me and gave me what they would have paid a man.
    

Romances were always for, by and about women. Only a handful of men have tried to write them and were successful. 
Should you encourage your daughters to read them? Of course. Choose the level of sexuality you want her to read, and then talk to her yourself about your own experience and truth.
    Pick up a romance today. A historical will give you perspective on the world you live in—and the one you should live in. A romantsy will give you a flight of fancy and fantasy that most likely shows a fierce woman as the lead. A mystery will most likely show you a woman who figures out the crime, alongside one who might just have fallen victim to it.
    Each type can lift you up. Show you women of courage. Women who fought to find a good life and a fair one for themselves.

    Besides, what else can you do intimately in the comfort of your chair, to show you the road to confidence and liberation?  
    Not liquor. Not your boss. Not your husband or significant other.
    Only you and a good book. 

Cerise asks, What do gin, smuggling, shoes and London docks have in common during #Regency period?

Women's slippers, circa 1829
corsetsandcrinolines.com

During the Regency, all was not serene decorum in this bustling, growing city. While the ton dined and danced and courted especially in our Regency romances, the commerce that kept them on their toes and money in their pockets could be a raw and nasty business on the east end of town where the ships from all ports docked.

I doubt anyone would want to walk in these dockland areas if they could help it. Or even try because to walk the approximate 4+ miles from the docks to (for example) Mayfair would be dangerous. Plus the general challenge of walking over cobbles and uneven surfaces in what were (I cringe every time I see them) terrible shoes or boots seems daunting. And for a refined lady to walk in these rough and tumble dock areas would be unthinkable.

West India completed docks, 1802.
Public domain.

West India Docks, East India docks and London docks were areas inhabited by shipwrights, seamen of merchant marine and Royal navies. With men and goods of all kinds going in and out, it was a bustling area and, except for the demands of the Customs officials, largely unregulated. So you have ships coming in, being unloaded, goods stored in warehouses and transported from there. The nature of the activities there would inspire much criminal activity. Smuggling was the biggest problem and the private companies employed their own watchmen (later maritime police) to try to deal with it. Lawlessness of all types occured, including theft, avoidance of import taxes, prostitution and gaming. Add to this drunkenness, brawling and general poverty, and this area is not a safe place.

East India dock looking south towards the River Thames, 1806.
Public domain.

Indeed in 1824 when the bill for the building of St. Katherine's Dock (next to the Tower) was introduced in Parliament, much of the debate discussed not just commercial need for another dock (and its destruction of thousands of homes and displacement of people there to make way for it) but also the fact that those who remained would be subject to similar disastrous social conditions. Years later, when Parliament later debated the bills for establishing a police force, they'd cite not only love of gin among laboring classes, but also the lawlessness of those in the dock areas as justification for a group for regular law enforcement.
References:
To view a map of London's docks, plus other sections of the city, see this 1830 map in high resolution: http://www.motco.com/Map/81003/

Madam! Need a scorching butler on your staff? Cerise has one in HER BEGUILING BUTLER!

BUY LINK:
http://www.amazon.com/Her-Beguiling-Butler-Delightful-Crescent-ebook/dp/B0135ZLZAU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1438449574&sr=8-1&keywords=Her+Beguiling+butler

He is OUT!
Everywhere.
He's hot, he's bothered, he's flummoxed because he's falling madly in love with his blonde, beautiful lady.

Trouble is he's in search of a culprit...and shouldn't have time to admire his mistress or kiss her, or go to her bedroom...and stay.

Look for the next two in the series, starring a temptestuous and tempting governess and a very naughty maid!

I created the Dudley Crescent and the man who cleared the land to build the houses. Similar to those in other London and Bath crescents, Dudley is comprised of houses where ladies and lords live in grand style. And they hire servants, at some coincidence, who are uppity, intriguing and very desirable!

4 Stanhope men find women they adore, but can they marry them? #Regency #romance #boxset by Cerise DeLand 99 Cents!

AMAZON BUY LINK:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PCJR1MY/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb
ARe BUY LINK:

https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-thestanhopechallengeregencyquartet4regencyromances-1666892-166.htm

What's better than one Regency?

Four in one set, that's what! And to top that off, all four novellas star heroes who are brothers!

The heir, the spare who is the dashing Army hero, the politician and finally, the bastard of the family—are the stars.

In the Stanhope family, three young men and their half-brother who is part American all have the same reluctance to marry.

Why?

Because there is a family curse brought on centuries ago when Charles II, roué that he was, tempted a Stanhope bride into his bed. She loved her husband and didn't want to be seduced but politics being what they were, her husband agreed and off she went to Charles's bed. The marriage soured.
And ever since, no Stanhope man who has loved his wife has ever had a happy marriage with her.

Least of all the current earl! He was, you see, a rogue of the first water, seducing whomever he choose. Though he claims to this day to have loved every woman he ever bedded and married, each of them died soon afterward.

So as we begin The Stanhope Challenge, we see that the current crop of male Stanhopes not only have the Curse working against them, but they fear for the lives of the women they adore.

Come celebrate love and life and the persistence of men in love as I re-release the revised and expanded series that sat on 4 best seller lists for many many months!

When will the box set be out?

Monday, November 10! And for an introductory price of 99 cents!

Why we love #menage...and need more of them!

BUY LINK at Amazon:
http://amzn.to/1ou06hB

Fantasy is such a big part of reading fiction. So adding a woman's ultimate desire to be waited on and pleased by not just one but many men is The Hot Fudge Sundae of reading erotic romance...and putting the cherry on top!

Why do we love a good menage story?
Ah. Let me count the ways.

First, we women know...after a certain period of time with one lover, that he might need a bit of inspiration now and then.

Why? It's human nature to take the everyday for granted. To do It with ease and the expert techniques we know are tried and true. But after a while, well, hey, you need variety, something different.

And let's face it, ANY indication to some men that they are living up to your need for new ideas in the sack is a challenge to their egos.

But adding another man to the mix? Adding 2 more men to the mix?

Oh boy. That requires that he sublimate his ego and his natural tendency to "protect" (and let that read "own") his woman.

Not every man can do that. In BIND ME CLOSE, Wade Saxon has a very hard time deciding how he can do that to please his woman.  I leave it to you to read how he does that...but let me continue.

Women's bodies are built so differently and work so differently from men's, especially during sex. The very fact that she can go for three, four or more orgasms and enjoy the heck out of each one, also means that if her man has no holding power, he can be done and she's just getting revved. THIS can be a huge problem in a long term relationship, causing arguments and worse.

Ebook: http://amzn.to/13aBAob

Print: http://amzn.to/UrcFHn

A woman on the other hand may have as many psychological challenges with mating with more than one man. She may worry how to satisfy both. (I dare say that this one can be quickly overcome by trying it...and learning that one woman can do a man right and do two just as well at the same time. After all, men's wiring is geared to sizzle at a quicker rate than a woman's. He and his buddy can take turns and she's just getting going.)

But some women get a charge out of more than two men. This requires some planning and choreography on the part of all partners.

It also demands that none of the men involved get territorial. If they have even a hint of that, the entire enjoyment is blown.

http://amzn.to/VCiIfA

I hope when you try your first menage or more that you will trust your male partners physically and emotionally to do right by you. Also that they have come to an agreement among themselves  that the best enjoyment will come from cooperation and imagination.

I do hope you also try ROPE ME IN, #1 in this series, where 3 brothers have a raging interest in one woman...and they make it work!

In #2 in the series, TIE ME DOWN, we have a shibari master and the conflict between the two men is a major issue.

http://amzn.to/1884udJ

In STEAL ME AWAY, the prequel to this series, a Comanche warrior kidnaps an Anglo woman...and the menage comes from the historical practice of permitting the wife of the older brother to take the husband's younger brother when he goes out to count coup. BTW, this book is very historically accurate from the abduction of an Anglo woman from her home of which there were many—and the decision by many women to remain with their Indian husbands.

Free Books and more on this Valentine's Day Blog hop!

Come join hundreds of my fellow authors as we celebrate the DAY OF LOVE!
You must see all the prizes!
Mouth-watering, delicious reads!
I am giving away books too.
Happy days are ones in which you get to sit down and read a great romance.